Sunday, 8 December 2024

To Be Loved Part 1

All was quiet in the large blue house at the end of a dead-end street. A couple in their late forties lay sleeping wrapped in each other’s arms. The old antique home was purchased many years earlier in hopes of filling it with lots of children; just a pipe dream. They accepted long ago that the only children in their lives would be the students they taught.

 

*Ding Dong*

 

A woman with long dark hair sat up first. She was very confused the clock read 3:30 am. Who on earth is ringing the door bell at this hour?

 

*Ding Dong*

 

This time a man with long sandy hair sat up shaking the sleep out of his eyes, “was that the doorbell?”

 

“I think so,” the woman said pulling on her robe peering out the window.

 

“Do you see anyone," the man asks?

 

“It’s a police car?”

 

The doorbell rings again as the couple finds their way through their dark home. Opening the door, the woman comes face to face with two police officers with a young girl between them. It took the woman a few seconds to realize who was standing in front of her. The girl was supposed to be away at college something that she helped her achieve. It was the police officer on the left that spoke first.

 

“Sorry to wake you at such a late hour. We picked this girl up on Main Street. Upon talking with her we discovered that not only is she very intoxicated she is also underage even if it’s only by three weeks.”

 

“Intoxicated, Sunshine,” the woman question? 

 

“Now Ma’am, I know you are upset with her but I still feel it’s better to let the parents handle this matter. We questioned her for her address, she refused at first but after awhile she told us.”

 

“Her parents,” the woman questions again?

 

“Ma’am, you, and your husband are her parents? Are you not?”

 

“Yes, Officer we are,” the woman quickly answered. 

 

The woman’s husband walked back into the house after that. He never agreed with his wife taking such a chance on the young girl now standing on their front door step. She knew too much; she could end both their careers.

 

“Oh, good my partner was worried that she gave a false address. I hope you are able to correct her behaviour so we don’t meet like this again.”

 

“Oh, I’m going to make sure we don’t meet like this again,” the woman assured glaring at the young girl. The woman watched as both officers tipped their hats and climbed back into their patrol car. Grabbing the young girl’s left ear, the woman pulled her into the dining room. “Aw Miss let go!”

 

“Sit down! We have some talking to do,” Miss ordered.

 

“It’s not that big of a deal! I was drinking I couldn’t let them take me home. They’d arrest my mother.”

 

“Is she doing drugs again,” Miss questioned? 

 

“More like selling it…. Miss, it’s fine I can just go home through the gullies.”

 

“You aren’t leaving this house drunk. Let alone running through the gullies at 4 am.”

 

“Don’t be so damn bossy. I’ll be fine,” I stated crossing my arms.

 

“You better remember who you are talking to.” Complete submission fell over the room. Sunshine found that nervous spot on the floor to look at. She never contemplated that Miss wouldn’t let her leave after the cops were gone.

 

“That’s better! Follow me!” Sunshine followed Miss closely up the stairs her mind racing with what ifs. Miss had always been extremely strict with her throughout high school. Sunshine needed it and craved it; Miss understood that. Sunshine noticed light coming out from under a closed door she imaged “him” pacing back and forth. He had never understood Sunshine or the relationship Sunshine and his wife had. Miss stopped at the end of the hall, opening the door she reached for the light. Miss sat down on the bed and looked at Sunshine. Entering the room Sunshine pleaded, “Please not a spanking?”

 

Miss patted the bed, “I’m not going to spank you tonight.”

 

Sunshine sat obediently, “Thank you, Miss.”

 

“But you are not leaving this house tonight and we are going to have a long conversation tomorrow.”

 

“Yes, Ma’am”

 

“Now, there are nightgowns and clothing in closest. I expect you to change before bed.”

 

Miss rose and exited the bedroom closing the door. Sunshine took a quick survey of the bedroom. It was beautiful. The bed, dressers, desk and end tables were all antique. Sunshine opened the closest to discover a full and well organized closest. Looking through the nightgowns she found one that reminded her of happier times, slipping it on she felt her grandma’s arms slip around her. Climbing into bed was a chore there were just too many layers. She was lucky to have one sheet at home.

 

 

Chapter 2

 

Miss entered her bedroom to find a pacing husband.

 

“Why would you take a girl like that into our home? We are going to wake up tomorrow with half our stuff missing. You should have told the police the truth.”

 

“You better watch yourself, little boy. You know better to speak to me in that manner.”

 

Tim stopped pacing and looked embarrassed at his dominant. “I’m sorry, Ma’am.”

 

“We are going to talk about this openly but I expect the rudeness to end.”

 

“Yes, Ma’am.”

 

“What makes you think she is going to steal things? She’s been in our home before and nothing has gone missing? Right?”

 

“Yes, Hun but she’s not our child. She’s not our responsibility. You should have told the police the truth,” Tim feebly retorted. 

 

“I understand that she’s not our responsibility but she chose us. She didn’t have to but she did. She trusts us; something that doesn’t come easy for her,” Miss reminded.

 

“I know that, Hun.”

 

“And what if you told the police the truth? You know what would have happened. They’d take her home to a strung-out mother dealing drugs. She’ll end up on the streets.”  

 

“I know that but…” Tim hesitated. 

 

“What are you really afraid of here? That she’ll take your place? Haven’t we always talked about adding to our family?”

 

“Yes Ma’am, but what if it doesn’t work out? She could expose us. We’d never teach again,” Tim explained!

 

“Don’t you think if she was going to expose us, she would have already done it? I disciplined her all through high school. You know I believe that things that are meant to be always come our way?”

 

“You really do trust her. I guess I’m just afraid because we never came to an understanding at school. She hates me,” Tim worried.

 

“She doesn’t hate you. She just doesn’t understand you. There will be ground rules,” Miss informs.

 

“You really believe it’s meant to be?"

 

“I do. I don’t know how but I do,” Miss answers.

 

“You’ve always wanted someone to mentor. I mean younger to mentor. I know you wouldn’t without my blessing,” Tim thinks out loud. 

 

“I’d never hurt you in that way. You know that.”

 

“I feel like not giving my blessing would take away your dominant role and I would never do that. I need you to be in charge…. Yes.”

 

“Yes, what,” Miss questions?

 

“Yes, Ma’am I trust you with all my heart and I believe that when you say it is meant to be it is. Yes, Ma’am, ask Sunshine to stay and I will try to see what you see in her.”

 

“There’s my good trusting little boy. I love you.”

 

“I love you too, Hun.”

 

 

Chapter 3 – Morning (Or Afternoon) Confessions

 

It wasn’t until 3 pm when Sunshine slowly climbed down the stairs looking for Miss. Her nightgown from the night before now had woolly socks to match. Timidly, Sunshine peered around the corner of the stairs. Miss wasn’t in the living room, so Sunshine continued quietly to the kitchen hoping for something to eat. There was no food at her home and hadn’t been for quite awhile. Noticing the fruit basket, Sunshine launched for the banana on top when she turned around, she was face to face with a weirdly dressed Tim. A minute later she realized that he had golf clubs hanging over his shoulder.


“Excuse me Sunshine, I’m just leaving for golf that way you and Miss can talk about what you need to.” Too stunned to respond Sunshine just stood there with a half-peeled banana. “Hun, Sunshine is up and in the kitchen. Hurry before she eats all our fruit,” Tim teased.

 

Embarrassed Sunshine placed the banana on the counter and watched as Tim left. Miss was leaning against the wall looking down on a scared little girl. “I wasn’t stealing I was going to pay you back.”

 

“Sunshine you can have the banana. It’s okay.”

 

“I don’t need it.” Miss crossed the kitchen and picked up the banana handing it to Sunshine.

 

“You already opened it and, in this house, we don’t waste food like that. Please sit at the table and eat it.”

 

Sunshine obeyed placing herself as far away from Miss as possible. Miss than placed a bowl, a spoon, a box of cereal and milk on the table. Sunshine looked at it like it was poisoned. Sunshine finished her banana and stared at the cereal box. She was starving but didn’t want to owe Miss anything else. Miss had helped her get out of the small town for college and here she was back sitting in her kitchen a failure just like her mother always said. “I’m fine with just the banana, Miss,” Sunshine argues.

 

“No, you aren’t. Have some cereal,” Miss ordered.

 

“No, Miss. I won’t,” Sunshine continues in defiance.

 

Miss filled the bowl with cereal, covered it with milk and placed it back in front of Sunshine, “Eat up!”

 

“I don’t need it,” I stated still defiant.

 

“That two… The rules haven’t changed in this house,” Miss warned.

 

Nervously, Sunshine glared at Miss. She knew the consequences, was it worth pushing the boundary. Retreating from Miss’s eyes Sunshine dove into the bowl of cereal. Pushing the empty bowl towards Miss a meek, ‘thank you’ exited Sunshine lips.

 

“You owe me some answers little one. Don’t you,” Miss lectured?

 

“I’m sorry I involved you.”

 

“I’m not talking about last night. I’m talking about school.”

 

Sunshine stared out the window trying to avoid the disappointment in Miss’s eyes. “I failed okay. I went and I failed.”

 

“Failed how,” Miss prompted?

 

“Just failed,” Sunshine repeated.

 

“That’s not the answer I want and you know that,” Miss sternly responded.

 

“It was just too hard, okay!”

 

“I have a very hard time believing that the courses were too hard for you. I want the truth!”

 

“My mother made it too hard. Send me money, I miss you, I can’t live without you. I gave up okay she needed money to pay a debt to her dealer so I dropped out to get the tuition money back.”

 

“Sunshine,” Miss questioned horrified.

 

“She’s still my mother, okay. She may be bad at it but I couldn’t let them hurt her.”

 

“Sunshine, you know you can’t fix or save her the rest of your life,” Miss pulls your chin forcing you to look at her.

 

“What choice do I have? I have nowhere else to go, no other family. I thought college in another city was the answer but I can’t seem to do that either.”

 

“What were your grades before you dropped out? The truth?”

 

“Why does that matter you can’t do anything about it now. Like you would anyway?” I pull my chin out of your hold and look out the window again.

 

 “What is that supposed to mean.”

 

“Nothing,” I retort annoyed.

 

“Sunshine, I want to talk to you about something very serious now. Are you listening to me?”

 

“Yeah,” Sunshine spat out.

 

Miss cringed at that response a year ago hidden away in our room, Sunshine’s safe place that in itself would have been a spank-able offence.

 

“Sunshine, Tim and I talk about this at length last night. We want you to stay here.”

 

“What do you mean stay here,” Sunshine spat out the question.

 

“Move in! Live with us. Do you remember asking me a year ago about why couples take in young adults as their children in the kink scene?”

 

“Yes, but are you telling me you two are like me,” things were starting to make sense? 

 

“We are Sunshine. Why do you think I took so much time in teaching you to be safe in the spanking community?”

 

“All this time you lied to me?” hurt and anger flashed across Sunshine’s face.

 

“Not lied just kept it from you,” Miss tried explaining. 

 

“You punished me for keeping things from you. You said it was the same as lying. How is this different,” Sunshine hollered?

 

A tear slipped from Sunshine’s eye. Miss’s confession was too much for her to handle. Sunshine had hoped and prayed that Miss wouldn’t quit on her once she left high school but she had. For months she had replayed every conversation they had had in that sound proof booth. The only thing that made sense to her was that she was Miss’s experiment and Miss decided that she wasn’t kinky like Sunshine.

 

“I never meant to lie to you. You just weren’t old enough to understand that this sort of thing is confidential,” Miss answers still trying to explain herself. 

 

“What? I never told anyone. I trusted you; I told you my deepest darkest secret, and let you mentor me. Why didn’t you trust me with your secrets,” hurt in Sunshine voice shock as she hollered?

 

“Sunshine,” Miss stammered out?

 

“I hate you!”

 

In one swift movement, Sunshine was on her feet and running out the door. Miss had no chance of catching up with her. She saw the swish of her borrowed nightgown as she dropped into the gully. Miss climbed the stairs with Sunshine’s last words ringing in her ears. Robotically, Miss found herself straightening up the room Sunshine had slept in. Deciding to wash Sunshine’s clothes Miss picked them up. She could see where Sunshine had stitched and re-stitched the clothing. There were blood stains from where Miss was sure her mother had hit her in a rage. Miss wondered if she was really any better for Sunshine then her biologically mother. Tim entered the room just shortly after 6 to find his wife starring out the window. 

 

“She said no, didn’t she,” Tim asked softly?

 

“Worse she said she hates me.”

 

“She can’t mean that. She’s just in shock. She’ll be back,” Tim tries to assure her. 

 

“No, Tim I don’t think so. I’m going to have a bath.”

 

Miss rubbed Tim’s arm for support as she left Sunshine’s bedroom.

 

“Damn, Sunshine! She really wanted this; she really wanted you.” Tim stated into the silence. 

Sunday, 1 December 2024

Unsafe Travels

I knew Mama expected me to take the bus to my meeting and get a ride home with a friend. After all, it was going to be dark by the time the meeting was over. Well, typical me, procrastinated away the 5 o'clock bus, the 5:30 bus, and the last bus. I promised I was going to be at the meeting. Ignoring the possible consequences, I pulled out my bike, hopped on, and peddled my butt off towards the meeting.



The early evening quickly turned into late evening. The later it got the darker it was outside. I looked at the time before I mounted my bike for a very dark ride home. I knew Mama would be home when I arrived. I was in major trouble not only did I disobey Mama due to procrastination; I was also wearing black pants and a navy-blue sweater. If that wasn't bad enough, I had removed the bike lights off my bike and misplaced them. Something I had been hiding from Mama for about a month and a half.


I tried to be as safe as possible on the way home. I rode on the sidewalk and took extra care at street crossing but I knew that wouldn't matter to Mama. I had put myself in unnecessary danger which was one of Mama's number one rules. As I turned into the driveway, I saw Mama waiting for me on the porch. She must have checked the garage to see if my bike was in fact there. How was I going to get out of this one?


"What part of take the bus and get a ride home did you not understand?"


"I missed the bus, Mama."


"Why?"


"Cause…"


"Get in this house"


I climbed off my bike, leaned it on its kick stand and followed Mama into the house.


"I'm waiting for an answer."


"I was on Facebook."


"On Wild West, right?"


"Yes, Ma'am."


"So you left in a panic, late no doubt?!"


All I managed to do was nod my head yes.


"Did you make it to the meeting on time?"


"No, Mama."


"Shall we continue the list of misbehaviours we need to address?"


"No!"


"You disobeyed me."


"I'm sorry."


"Did that sound like a question to you?"


I shook my head no.


"You disobeyed me. You procrastinated on that damn game again. You put yourself in unnecessary danger. And where the hell are your bike lights?"


"I misplaced them when I took them off."


"And why did you take them off in the first place?"


"No real reason, just cause."


"Well just cause, let me tell you what is going to happen here. Are you hearing me?"


"Yes, Mama."


"For starters you're grounded. We will be changing your computer password so I am the only one with access to it."


"That's not fair!"


"You really think you are in the position to argue right now?"


My eyes found the floor.


"I didn't think so. Your bike will be chained and locked to the garage wall. I will be the only one with the key."


"But..."


"But nothing! You rode home in the dark in dark colours with NO lights. Until you find your bike lights and learn not to put yourself at risk it will stay there. Understood?"


"Yes, Ma'am."


"That's not to include the fact that if you had obeyed me, you would have been on the bus on time. Right?"


"Yes, Mama."


"Go get the Spencer paddle."


"Plea...."


"Right now, little girl."


There was no way Mama was going to back down. I broke a number of rules.... again. I wasn't getting out of the implement I hate most of all. I wish that Mama never purchased it. It didn't take long for Mama to realize that the Spencer paddle made me stand up straight and take notice. The faster more effective way to change my behaviour. The Spencer paddle quickly took over the place of the hairbrush as our last resort implement. Returning with the paddle I wish I had made different decisions.


"Do you have to use the paddle?"


"Let's see. Did you have to make the decisions you made today?"


"No, Mama."


"You earned this with those decisions. You knew this paddle would be the consequences. Hum?"


"Yes, Ma'am."


"And you still choose to break the rules?"


"Yes, Mama."


"Well this is my choice and my responsibility to teach you, isn't it?"


"Yes, Mama."


"Why?"


"Because you're my Mama and I'm your little girl and I was unsafe."


"And?"


"I love you and you love me?"


"Enough?"


"To spank me when I need to be."


"And if I forget this punishment today?"


"I'd lose respect for you as a top and my disciplinarian."


"And what happens when you lose respect for your disciplinarian?"


"I act out and endanger myself more."


"And you know I love you too much to let that happen; so yes I am going to punish you very hard with this Spencer paddle."


A tear of remorse and fear fell from my eye. Ashamed I knelt in front of my Mama. I didn't deserve to stand at her level. A few more tears escaped my eyes as Mama pulled my chin up to look into my eyes.


"Baby girl, I don't intend to be cruel to you. I'm going to warm you up with my hand first."


A low mumble that barely was audible exited my mouth.


"Talk to me, baby girl."


"It isn't a warm up, Mama."


"I know. It hurts when I spank you with my hand too."


"Please, not bare?"


"You know better."


"Yes, Ma'am."


"Up and over my knee."


With no farther hesitation I stood beside Mama waiting for her to finish adjusting her chair; once adjusted Mama reached up to lower my pants and panties. Now bare bottomed I was expected to lower myself over Mama's knee for my discipline spanking.


"Put yourself at risk like that."


"I'm sorry."


My sorry was answered by the sound of Mama's firm hand landing on my exposed bottom. Her rhythm soon quickened, teaching me her lesson of unwavering expectation she had for me; I have for myself. Mama's bare hand assault soon ended leaving my bottom red and tender. I knew the paddle was coming next.


"Hand me that paddle."


Handing the paddle to Mama I took that moment to take a deep breath. I knew what that paddle was going to do to me and it made me cringe.


"Are you starting to regret your choices today?"


"Yes, Mama"


The spanking continued as Mama started applying the Spencer paddle. All I could feel was pain, 100% pain. Soon Mama was forced to pin my legs so she could drum the lesson home over and over again. I was sure that my bottom was swelling with ever swat that landed. I was praying for Mama to stop. I had learned my lesson. I wouldn't procrastinate ever again. I'd obey no questions asked. I wouldn't put myself at risk ever! Mama started slowing the paddle. My face was red and soaked with tears of pain, shame, and love. I heard Mama lay the paddle down. I slid crying off of her lap and onto my knees.


"Thank you, Mama"


"Don't you EVER put yourself at risk like that again!"


"I promise, Mama. I just wasn't thinking."


"And what happens when you don't think?"


"I get in trouble."


"And is it fun to be in trouble?"


"No, Ma'am."


"It hurts doesn't it?"


"Very much."


"You know I don't like to punish you."


"I know."


"I'd rather only spank you in fun."


"I'm sorry, Mama."


"You're going to try harder to think first?"


"I try but it always gets messed up."


"Sunshine, nothing is messed up. It's just a bump in the road that is dealt with and forgotten."


"Promise you mean that."


"I always mean that. What did we talk about before I spanked you?"


"That I love you."


"And"


"You love me."


"Enough?"


"To spank me when it's needed."


"Does that just go away because you disappoint me?"


"No, Mama."


"Will it ever?"


"No, Mama. I promise I'll keep trying if you keep being my Mama."


"Always and forever, baby girl."


Hugging me tightly I felt Mama's forgiveness. I knew I was still grounded but I also knew I was cleansed again. It had been an exhausting twenty minutes of firm love and I was glad it was over. Mama kissed my forehead and looked into my submissive eyes for the last time that evening.


"I love you, baby girl and you are forgiven but I want you in bed right now."


"Good night, Mama"


"Goodnight, baby girl."


Climbing into bed a forgiven little girl I again felt whole. Wrapping my arms around Crush I drifted off into a deep deep sleep.