Schooling

There I was sitting on the landing of our stairs; a picture of a sorry little girl waiting for her parents to come home from work to deal with her school misdeeds. Sitting with my arms around my knees my chin rested against the top of my knees I wished today hadn’t happened. I don’t know what my friends and I were thinking. I don’t know why I thought skipping class was a good idea let alone skipping class to hang out downtown where Jillian works. The downtown where I knew Jillian was buying lunch today; the sign says catch me. Needless to say, Jillian did catch us. So here I sit waiting for Jillian to come home from work. I could only imagine what Jillian had in store for me. She had all afternoon to contemplate it. In her opinion skipping class was one of the worst things I could do. It shows a complete lack of responsibility Jillian had told me several times before. Responsibility was one of the top rules on our rule list. Something I truly lacked before getting together with Jillian and something I had agreed I needed help with. Why did I think we would ever get away with this?

Five thirty was slowly coming upon me; the time when Jillian would walk in the door. Every car I heard drive past the house made my stomach jump. I really thought I was going to be sick before Jillian would make it home. You see I have always had quite the imagination something I wish I could just shut off during times like these. A rapid imagination and a fear of people leaving me don’t really help you out when you are forced to wait for your disciplinarian to arrive home. I was starting to convince myself that I had done it this time. Jillian wasn’t coming home this time, I had disappointed her into leaving, when I heard Jillian shut the car door. I stayed at the top of the stairs in my huddled position waiting for Jill to make the first move. If she wasn’t calm enough to deal with me yet, I didn’t want to force her into it. I had done that only once in our relationship and I didn’t sit for a week.

I heard Jillian open the door and drop her things on the dining table followed by her slipping off her shoes. I could tell by her sock-foot steps that she was heading for the stairs. I thought about moving from my spot too late. Jillian came around the corner too quickly, turning the stair light on to find me sitting there. I knew right away I had just got myself into deeper trouble. I wasn’t supposed to be there.


“I am so disappointed in you, Sunshine.”


“I know.”


“I want to know how you thought you were going to get away with this. Were you just going to sit there and lie to me? Tell me some made-up story about how class was?”


“I wasn’t going to lie.”


“Pardon? I didn’t hear you?”


“I wasn’t going to lie. I was going to tell you that I skipped.”


“You know that makes it worse, Sunshine. That means you three had this planned out. So you directly disobeyed me.”


“I didn’t want to go. It was an optional review class. I felt I knew everything and didn’t need to go.”


“How long did you know this was a review class?”


“Since last week’s class.”


I was scared now. I watched as Jillian did her little I’m so angry right now spin around. She looked up at me now more hurt than disappointed. My eyes started to slowly well up.


“How long was this planned?”

“About a week.”


“About a week? Okay first let’s start with the first rule you broke. You aren’t allowed to skip class ever. You know that. Class is expensive and I don’t care if you have a scholarship you will go to every class. If you lose that scholarship because you are messing about we can’t afford to pay the tuition. You know that.”


“I know, Jillian. I’m sorry. But it was just a review class.”


“Number two. How dare you not come and talk to me about not wanting to go to the review class. Instead, you lied to me all week.”


“I didn’t lie.”


“Yes, you did. You got up this morning and acted like you were going to class. You lied. And you know the ridiculous part about this? If you had come to me and TALKED to me like you have promised me so many times I probably would have said yes to you missing the class. I am well aware that you don’t really need to go to the Lighting review classes.”


“I’m sorry, Jillian.”


“Am I that scary to talk to about school? Am I? Am I unfair with expecting you to be there for every class? Do you really think you are going to graduate by not showing up?”

“I’m not scared to talk to you.”

“Well, clearly you are.”

“I’m not…”

“I’m done talking about this one. Number three why are you on the landing? Where did I tell you to be?”

“In bed.”

“Then, why aren’t you?”

“I was for a while. I didn’t want to be there anymore.”

“I don’t care what you wanted. You bull-faced disobeyed several rules today and then you still have the gull to sit there and think what you want matters.”

“I’m sorry.”


“You know what you can say I’m sorry till you are blue in the face. You need to start showing me you’re sorry because right now I don’t think you truly are. Actions Sunshine, speak louder than words.”

“I know, I’m sorry, I should have talked to you.”


“Yeah, well you didn’t and now we are here. Again! And I’m upset Sunshine. I am so upset and disappointed with you. I thought we were past the, 'I’m afraid to talk to you about bending the rules a bit' thing.”


“We are.”


“We are? I’m glad you think we are. I sure don’t. But I can ensure that after tonight we will be. I’m going to wail your ass until you are wailing. And you will never forget this. So the next time you even flirt with the idea of not coming to talk to me you remember this. And Sunshine you will take the spanking that you have earned and deserve with absolutely no whining or begging or fighting. Do you understand me?”


“Yes, Ma’am.”


“Then you get up, go to the bedroom, get the long paddle and the cane, and get your disobedient ass down here.”


“Yes, Ma’am.”


I didn’t need to be told twice. I was in the bedroom within seconds of being sent there. The paddle and the cane were running through my mind. I was expecting more I didn’t fully understand why I was only sent for the paddle and the cane. Then it finally dawned on me, it was Friday. Friday meant casual dress day. Jillian had put jeans on this morning which meant she had her belt on. I was about to get strapped too. I gulped a nervous breath down. I usually enjoyed the belt; my favourite implement to play with. But punishment! I shivered at the very thought; Jillian had this crazy ability to make a person’s favourite implement into an implement of doom. I didn’t want to give Jillian any more reason to spank me harder so I quickly grabbed what I was instructed to and headed downstairs.


Jillian had already prepared the living room just the way she liked it when it was turned into a punishment room. The coffee table was moved to the other side of the room against the wall out of the way. The blinds were drawn closed if only the neighbours knew what was about to happen. Once at the bottom of the stairs implements in hand I looked at my disapproving girlfriend. God she was beautiful looking sitting in the centre of the couch waiting for her disobedient girlfriend to position her naughty unprotected bottom over her lap. It took all I had to stop a smirk from appearing on my face. I knew Jillian would take that as disrespect and I knew I was in enough trouble already.


“Come here, Sunshine.”


I obeyed. Soon I was standing next to Jillian looking down at the lap I was about to go over. Jillian took the implements from me placing them on the floor to her left. Right, where my head would be positioned that way I could look at the tool of butt death as my spanking was starting.


“You are never to behave in this matter ever again, little girl.”


“I won’t.”


“Well, we are going to make sure of that. Bare your bottom.”


One by one my layers of protection were being stripped away. First, my shorts folded and placed nicely on the chair next to the couch; then my panties on top of the shorts. I stood bare in front of the woman I would have done anything for, for only a brief moment.


“Over!”


I climbed right over ready to submit to a spanking I knew I would never forget. I did my best to place my bottom up in the proper position to give Jillian full control over it. I laid my head only briefly on the couch while I waited for the first spank.


“And Sunshine just so you know Laurie and Amy are getting their bottoms roasted too.”


“I figured that.”


“I suggest staying in position, Sunshine.”


“Yes, Ma’am.”


Smack! The spanking I had been contemplating since one o’clock had finally come. There was no break right from the beginning. Jillian left no time for either cheek to recover before starting the assault all over again. I could feel my cheeks wobbling more and more as Jillian quickened the pace. She found a quick and firm pace that she didn’t stray from not even once. Had I been that much of a disappointment today? I wasn’t sure I would manage to stay in position if she continued this pace. It seemed like Jillian had it in her mind that I would be crying through the whole spanking. I knew, at that moment, that the only time Jillian would slow the pace down was to change implements. I couldn’t help it, as much as I wanted to stay in position I was finding it increasingly difficult. I started trying to kick my way off her lap. When that wasn’t working I slid down onto my knees making it impossible for Jillian to hit her reddening target. She had enough of my squirming Jillian let me fall off her lap the rest of the way. There I was kneeling head hanging, crying in front of my girlfriend and disciplinarian.


“You, little girl, need to force yourself into staying in position.”


“I’m trying, Jillian. I am. It’s hurting so bad.”


“Look at me.”


It was hard not to obey her. Jillian had taken a hold of my chin and was encouraging me to obey her. Natural I followed her lead I didn’t really have a choice. I was already bare, it wouldn’t take anything to receive a little push reminder. Jillian pulled my eyes right in line with her's something I hated during punishment. She could speak one thousand words with those eyes; they always made me feel guilty.

“You deserve this baby. You earned it. And you will take it. You promised to go to every class didn’t you?”


“Yes, Ma’am.”


“And you didn’t today, did you?”

“No, Ma’am.”


“Plus, everything else you did today.”


“Yes, Ma’am.”


“Then, why should I have mercy on you?”


“You shouldn’t.”


“Then, get back over my lap, little girl. And stay there.”


Obediently with Jillian’s help I rose and climbed back over Jill’s lap; positioning my bottom properly praying to be able to remain there. Whack! The hand spanking continued. My bottom was back on the defense looking for the smallest of breaks. Jillian’s fierce hand was making sure that was never to happen. My bottom must have been deep red by now, I know my eyes were for sure. I couldn’t find a way to control my sobbing the pain Jillian’s petite hand was inflicting on my tender flesh was interfering with that. Was that petite hand ever going to wear out? I was starting to think my bottom might wear out first when I started feeling the pinching Jillian loved to do after a good long hand spanking; something to do with livening up the buttocks for the next round. Jillian always wanted to make sure I felt each and every spank. I don’t understand how she thought I wouldn’t the way she spanks.


“Ouch! I’m sorry, Jillian”


“Up!”


Jillian wasted no time letting me register what she said. Jillian took hold of me under the arm and pulled me up as she stood up. There I stood looking at my disciplinarian with wet eyes, a runny nose, and a sore and red bottom. I had a feeling about what was next to come but I prayed Jillian would change her mind. Too bad for me that it rarely did, okay I mean never did. Jillian exited to the kitchen leaving me crying and bare standing by the couch. I could hear the water running. I was ready to throw up. Was she filling the spray bottle? Please Jillian, not the spray bottle. I’m already so sore. To my relief, Jillian returned with a warm dampened cloth. Wiping my soaked face she looked into my scared and sorry eyes.


“You knew damn well what I would do before you skipped class today, didn’t you?”


“Then, stop looking like you’re scared of me.”

“I’m not scared.”

“Your eyes are saying different.”

“I can’t help it. You’re so upset with me. I don’t like it.”

“Then you should have behaved and gone to school or talked to me like you are supposed to.”

“I know.”

“Well, it’s too late for talking now. You already did it. You realize what’s coming next don’t you?”

“Yes, Ma’am.”

“What?”


“You’re gonna strap me with your belt.”

“You know it. Bend over that couch.”

Over I went; hands firmly planted on the cushion. I listened as Jillian unbuckled her belt. The swoosh of the leather rubbing against her jeans as she pulled it off just about made me run away. My bottom was so stingy already. The lashes with the leather were going to bite into my very being and it did. The first lash sent me into orbit. When it landed I immediately jumped out of position grabbing hold of my sheering bottom; breaking yet another rule that day. I am to stay in position at all times during a spanking. If I don’t I get more. This I wasn’t thinking of I was thinking of the sheering pain that had just landed across my burning red cheeks. Jillian wasn’t impressed.

“Sunshine Rose, get back into position. Now!”

“Yes, Ma’am, I’m sorry.”


“You take your hands off that cushion again it’ll be 24 strokes of the cane not 12 understand?”

“Yes, Ma’am.”


The strapping continued. Two or three times I started to get up out of position. Fearing the doom of 24 strokes of the cane I forced myself back down. I bottom must have looked like it was four times its size already and there were still two more implements to go through. My face was completely soaked in tears. I was starting to wonder how a body could produce that many tears at once. I knew I had been extremely disobedient and disrespectful but did I really deserve a strapping like I was receiving. I wasn’t going to be sitting right for a week. I was seriously thinking about begging Jillian to stop, but then the warning flashed through my mind. Begging would get me five more minutes of strapping. or worse, 12 more strokes of the cane. I bite the inside of my lip trying to convince myself that I could take this. The strapping slowed and then stopped altogether.


“Are you feeling more obedient now?”


“Yes, Ma’am.”

“We’ll see about that. How does your bottom feel?”

“Like it’s 400 degrees.”

“Good. It’s going to be about 1000 degrees when we are finished here.”


“Please, Jillian.”

“What did I say at the beginning of this spanking?”

“No whining, no begging, and no fighting.”

“And what are you doing right now? ... Stop it.”

I received a hand reminder with that order; right in the centre of my left cheek and then the right. It must have been at least ten spanks per side. The tears I thought I had somewhat under control started rolling out the corners of my eyes and down my face to the floor.


“Ow, I’m sorry Jillian.”


“Not yet you’re not. At the beginning of the semester, what did we agree on? Do you remember?”


“The paddle, 10 strokes with that evil thing.”


“For?”


“For every class, I skip.”


“And what did you do today? The one thing you swore up and down you wouldn’t do this semester? Hum??”


“Skipped.”


“You know what’s coming to you then.”

“Yeah.”


“Back over again.”

I placed my hands back on the cushion. I was trying to prepare myself as much as I could for the implement of doom. That paddle is the worst invention in the world. I’m already sore is it really necessary to spank me with a wood board; the worst implement known to man. Then there was the point that I did agree with this. Jillian had to put something in place after last semester. I had almost lost my scholarship due to almost failing a class because I had missed like 20 classes before midterms. I failed the midterm and spent the second half of the semester trying disparately to pull my grade up. Jillian was not impressed I spent half the semester lying to her about going to class. I needed to know that it wouldn’t be tolerated this semester. That is why I had planned on telling her about the skipping tonight, lying wasn’t an option, I just wasn’t thinking we would run into her. When Jillian and I had sat down to talk about an appropriate punishment for skipping this semester she had decided on the paddle. I agreed; did I really have a choice. It needed to be something I hated. Apparently, I didn’t hate it enough. CRACK! The first stroke pulled me back to reality. That paddle was a paddle of doom. It felt like my skin broke open. Jillian didn’t tell me till the spanking was over but it did break open.


“Count, I will go to every class!”


“One Ma’am, I will go to every class”


CRACK!!


“Two Ma’am, I will go to every class.”

WHACK!!!!

“Jillian, Three Ma’am, I will go to every class.”

SMACK!!!

“Breath, Sunshine.”


“It hurts. Four, Ma’am, I will go to every class.”


“Well, then you should have gone to class or talked to me.”


“I know.”


CRACK!!


“Five Ma’am, I will go to every class.”


“Halfway, wipe your face. Take a breath.”


“Thank you, Ma’am.”


I grabbed the now cool cloth and wiped away my tears and my nose. I slowed my breathing down as Jillian rubbed my back a little. Letting me know that yes I am in trouble, yes I deserve this, but yes she still loves me and if needs to will hold my hand through my punishment. It however didn’t mean that she would lighten the punishment I had coming to me. I knew that and to be honest I didn’t want her to. I earned it and needed to take every stroke, every spank, and every paddle of it.


“Prepare yourself.”


SMACK!!


“Six Ma’am, I will go to every class.”


WHACK!!

“Seven Ma’am, I will go to every class.”


“Are you going to skip any more classes this semester?”

“No, Ma’am.”


CRACK!!!


“Eight Ma’am, I will go to every class.”


“Are you sure about that?”


“Yes, Ma’am.”


“I hope so.”


SMACK!!!


“Nine, Ma’am, I will go to every class.”


CRACK!!!!


“Ten Ma’am, I will go to every class.”


“Promise me, Sunshine. No more skipping.”


“I promise. I’m sorry.”


“I believe you.”


“Come here.”


Jillian pulled me up out of position and into her embrace. I cried on her shoulder. My bottom was already well punished I feared the cane. I wanted it but didn’t want it. I prayed for a break.


“Go stand in the corner, little girl. Then we will finish with the cane.”


“Yes, Ma’am.”


“Off you go!”


There in the corner, I stood bare, bruised, slightly bleeding. My bottom hadn’t survived the paddle like I wished it would have. Nose to the corner hands on my head I stood. I can’t fully explain how hot my bottom felt. Jillian wasn’t lying when she said my bottom was going to be 1000 degrees by the time we were done. I could hear Jillian adjusting herself on the couch; a fifteen-minute countdown to the cane. I knew the searing pain I was about to feel very well. I seemed to earn myself the cane at least once a week, it knew how to adjust my attitude in one hell of a hurry. I was afraid of it tonight. I was battered and bruised. I wasn’t sure I could take it but I wanted it. I didn’t want to wait until the morning for it. I wanted the spanking to be done and over with. Jillian called me out of the corner fifteen minutes were up. I was ordered back over the couch for 12 fierce strokes of the cane. They came fierce and fast. I was thankful, Jillian counted it goes faster that way. Jillian pulled me away from the couch, lowered herself onto it, and pulled me back over her lap bottom up. I shivered I thought we were done. Hadn’t I had enough? Jillian then took the cloth from me and started to wipe the blood off my horribly tender bottom. I cringed as she cleaned me up. After which she pulled me onto her lap and held me as I cried all the guilt and pain away.


“You’re a good girl, Sunshine.”


“I’m sorry I was disobedient. I’m sorry, I skipped. I’m sorry I didn’t ask you.”


“I know you are. Sunshine, if this ever happens again it will be ten times worse, understand?”


“Yes, Ma’am.”


“Do you agree with me? You know we can’t afford for you to throw your scholarship away.”


“I know. I agree, Jillian. I promise no more skipping.”


“Well, Sunshine. You know where naughty well-spanked little girls belong?”


“In bed without dinner.”


“Off you go then.”


“Yes, Ma’am.”


“And Crush goes on the trunk for the night.”


“Please, Jill. Don’t take Crush away.”


“You know better! Off you go to bed.”


I slowly and carefully climbed the stairs to bed. After placing Crush on the trunk and pulled on my tank top then climbed into bed bare bottom. Jillian didn’t say to put panties on so I figured it was okay besides I was too sore. I laid there trying to study my Lighting text but soon found out I was too worn-out too. Jillian came to bed at eleven to find a very sore, sorry, and sleeping little girl. Jillian couldn’t hide her amusement; there was her sweet loving girlfriend curled up on her side, a lighting textbook lying on her side, red bruised bottom hanging out of the covers, and her thumb stuck in her mouth. Giggling a little at the site Jillian changed into her pajamas and walked around to my side of the bed grabbing Crush on her way. Bending down she kissed me goodnight tucking Crush under my arm. Jillian stood and surveyed her little girlfriend one more time.


“Well I never said panties.” 

A Helping Hand

 

I had a really rough time entering high school. I was angry at the world. I grew up in a small close-knit town with no one I could talk to about my true feelings. I didn't understand why while all my friends were crushing on boys, I was crushing on girls. I thought I was a freak or sick or something. If that wasn't bad enough, I had a second issue. No matter how hard I tried I couldn't seem to get spanking out of my mind. Something that was there from the time I was three only seemed to grow as I grew older. It was all I could think of. Growing up at the beginning of the internet age every time my parents were out of the house (which was often) I would search for anything spanking. Soon, my searching started to lead me onto adult sites I knew I had no business being on at fourteen or fifteen, or even sixteen and seventeen. Unfortunately, I couldn't stop myself; stories started emerging from the depth of my being. Even though I was scared shitless someone would find out about my adult endeavours I found myself returning again and again to these sites. Fantasies started emerging left, right, and centre; I would sit in class daydreaming about ways to get myself spanked. Too bad, I knew my parent would never take the bait. Please they hardly knew I existed. So, I started turning to my group of very dangerous drug friends that I too kept hidden from everyone. They were game for experimenting with anything anyone wanted to, safety and a person's well-being were never important. I was going down a very dangerous road. I feel if the fates hadn't stepped in and caused what was about to progress, I would probably be permanently injured or if not dead.

Having to hide my homosexuality and my spanking needs, was causing me to become very angry. I was starting to lash out at my friends, my fellow students, my teachers, and my family. The drugs I was taking to push everything down, just weren't helping anymore. I was ready to explode at any moment when one of my teachers made the mistake that led me to my first-ever disciplinarian. She decided that I had no right to leave class early for my doctor’s appointment. I ended up acting out towards her and should have been expelled. The only reason I wasn't expelled was because my soon-to-be disciplinarian stepped in and took responsibility for me. She put her reputation on the line for me, from that day on if I screwed up at school, I went to her. I didn't go to the Vice-Principal he had washed his hands of me. Now you have to understand that not only did she put her reputation on the line for me she put her job on the line for me. The deal was that if I ever put my hands on another teacher again not only would I be out of school so would she. There was a lot on the line. I didn't understand in the beginning why she would do that. It took me until the end of high school to fully get it.

So, my new arrangement started. Homework wasn't completed; to Miss’s classroom, I went. I mouthed off in class; to Miss’s classroom, I went again. She tried absolutely everything she could think of to get me to do what I was supposed to do. I refused and refused and refused. I frustrated this woman like you wouldn't believe. I don't remember what I had done that first day I let the secret out of the bag. I just don't think it matters anymore. But there we sat again; I still remember how uncomfortable those chairs were. Miss, looking, at me frustrated and angry, and I, looking, at the ground, arms crossed, waiting for the lecture, dreaming about going over her knee.

"Sunshine, you can at least show me enough respect, to look at me when I am about to talk to you."

I looked up but only for a second. Her disappointed eyes cut me to the core. I did respect her and I understood the chance she took on me but this lecture process just didn't work for me. I needed it; no; wanted; it to intensify but I was so scared to say what was on my mind. We had been doing this for a month and every time she would say to me, "You can tell me anything you need to. I won't judge you." I didn't know how to say it. I didn't even know what to call it at that point. I was a freak that's what I was.

"You know what Sunshine? I ask you to be honest with me. I ask you to do your school work and behave in class. Is that too much to ask? I want to know."

"It's not."

"Well, clearly it must be because we find ourselves here again."

All I could do was shrug my shoulders, something I knew she hated.

"Nothing to say Sunshine? Nothing? You know what?" Miss stood and started heading to the classroom door but then stopped for some reason. With three long strides, she was standing beside me again. "You're better than this, Sunshine. You know it and so do I. It frustrates me that you just sit there like you don't care that you're throwing your future away. Like? Do you care at all that I put my job on the line for you?"

"I do."

"You have a funny way of showing it. Do you understand how disrespectful your behaviour is towards me right now?"

"Yes."

"Then, why?"

"Because…"

"Because is not an answer."

"I don't know."

"Yes, you do."

"No, I don't," I said crossing my arms another big no-no.

"You do, you just don't trust me enough to talk to me about it. So what? What is it," Miss demanded?

"I'm not fucking talking about this with you. Mind your fucking business for once," I hollered in return.

Miss looked down at me in shock. I had never sworn at her before now. She knew she hit a nerve maybe if she kept pushing, she would get me to say it. Miss knew the signs were there. She had been watching them intensify with every session we had like this.

"Sunshine, you don't talk to me like that. Ever! I am trying to help you here."

"Well, I don't want your help."

"Then, what do you want me to do? Huh? Because right now you've got me frustrated to the point, all I want to do is spank that attitude right out of you." Tears started rolling down my face. I did respect Miss with all my being but I couldn't help but push and push and push until we were at this point. I didn't know if I could trust her with my deepest darkest secrets. What if she thought I was a freak that needed to be sent away? "Sunshine? Talk to me? You don't have to bury everything anymore. Trust me. What are you trying so hard to hide from me?"

"Maybe you should," I breathed out.

"Should what? Spank you," Miss questioned?

"Yeah.......I can't stop thinking about it."

"About what," Miss prodded further?

"Spanking. I'm a freak."

"You are not a freak," Miss announced.

"Yes, I am."

"Calm down. Stop crying and talk to me. You are not a freak."

"But…"

"You are not a freak and I don't want to hear you say that again," Miss ordered.

 

"Okay, but…"

"No! No buts! I know you're young and don't understand. I know you're trying to figure things out but are not a freak," Miss assured.

"Yes, I...”

"Aut! Some people just need more than talking. I want you to be honest with me. Okay?"

"I'll try."

"Is that what you feel you deserve and need for the behaviour that has been happening?"

"yes.....no......maybe.....I don't know."

"Be honest."

Nodding yes. "Maybe but I don't know about like in the videos?"

"Videos? Where have you been watching videos?"

"On sites," I confessed.

"Adult sites?!"

"Yeah."

"Sunshine? What were you going to do if someone saw your browser history?"

 

"I don't know? Lie?"

"You are not allowed to lie. Do you understand me," Miss demanded?

"Yes, Ma'am," it slipped so naturally out from between my lips. Like it was something I was forever destined to say. Something that was meant to forever be a part of who I am. Like deep down I knew my place and what was expected of me in a situation like this.

"Are you 100% sure you want me to spank you," Miss asked looking for consent?

"I think so. But I'm nervous," I answered, fidgeting with my shirt.

"Why?"

"Cause what if someone finds out about it? What if people think I'm a freak? What if I get you in trouble? What if it hurts too much," raced out of my mouth?

"Sunshine, I promise you whatever is discussed between us will never leave this room. And I will never think you are a freak. Do you believe me when I tell you that?"

"Yes, I promise you that I too will never ever tell anyone that you have agreed to do this. Do you trust me," I repeated?

"Yes, I do. Off to the recording booth you go," Miss ordered.

"Okay."

I found myself in my school's sound-proof recording studio. Hidden away in the back of the classroom where no one could disturb us like it was meant to be. My first safe place was about to see its first spanking. My first classroom of learning to keep myself safe in this spanking world I was about to enter. Why Miss was so willing to help fill my need was beyond me at this point. I just felt it was going to be safer this way; my drug friends' experiments were starting to frighten me. They refused to listen to one another it had turned into how much pain can you take instead of what I needed it to be. I was hoping that Miss could give me what I so desperately needed…Discipline caring discipline.

"We're going to go slow Sunshine. We're going to make sure this is what you really want. Go get the chair for me."

"Yes, Ma'am."

I pulled out the chair into the middle of this small room. My hands were starting to sweat my stomach was flip-flopping. My fantasies were about to come true but did I really want what I fantasized about?

"Okay, Sunshine. We are going to start slow but it will hurt and will teach you a lesson," Miss taught.

"Yes, Miss."

Miss placed herself down on the chair. Motioning she said: "Over you come, Sunshine."

"Yes, Ma'am."

"Are you ready," Miss questioned?

"I'm afraid it's going to hurt," I blurted out.

"It is going to hurt. That's the point. Right?"

"Yes."

Miss's hand landed on the centre of my left cheek. The beginning of my new world had started with a searing pain from cheek to cheek. Having not been really spanked in my life I was shocked at the amount of pain Miss's tiny hand could inflict on my naughty bottom. Her rhythm was steady like she had done this before. I was soon a sorry and sore little girl trying to roll off her lap.

"Sunshine, you wanted this. You need to learn to stay still during a spanking. Do you understand me," Miss lectured?

"Yes, Miss but it hurts," I cried out.

"It's supposed to, isn't it?"

"Yes, Ma’am."

"Are you thinking twice about misbehaving and then disrespecting me?"

"Yes, Ma'am. I'm sorry."

"Not yet," Miss announced.

The spanking continued on my not-so-vanilla bottom. Two spanks on the left and then the right, back and forth, back and forth until I started to submit. I submitted to letting the guilt I felt release through my tears. I had needed a firm hand for a very long time; perhaps since birth. As I started to really cry the spanking seemed to slow. My bottom was burning I was wondering how all those people online could handle getting spanked with all those weird-looking things. I was hoping I was going to find out. Four final hard spanks landed across each cheek.

"Up you get. Go stand in the corner," Miss pointed.

Obediently I headed to the corner. Did I really have a choice at this point? Okay I'm sure I did but this is what I had wanted, what I had dreamt about, what I had fantasized about, what I longed for, was I really going to turn away from my chance. Facing the corner, I stood with thousands of questions running through my mind. Hoping, that as time went on, I would have answers to all my burning questions. My bottom hurt so much, I had no idea that it was going to hurt that much. I couldn't help it I just had to try and rub the pain away; the warmth of my bottom excited me. I never knew my bottom could become so warm.

"Sunshine, hands on your head."

"Yes, Ma'am."

There I stood obediently in that corner, hands on my head, my bottom nicely warmed. The tick of the clock was all I could hear. I was wondering how long Miss expected me to stand here for.

"Come here, Sunshine."

I returned to the chairs we started our conversation in, waiting for whatever else Miss had in mind; willing to obey her fully.

"Thank you, Miss."

"Do you feel like you can do what is expected of you now?"

"Yes, Miss. I'm sorry I've been disrespecting you."

"I know you are. You can go get ready for your next class now."

"Yes, Ma'am."

"Sunshine, when you're home tonight I want you to think about what just happened. I mean really think about it and decide if you want to continue down this road."

"I think I do Miss."

"I still want you to think about it. We will talk about it tomorrow," Miss ordered.

"I understand."

I walked out of that classroom that day as a changed person. It felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I had told someone my secret and they didn't run away. Was there someone else out there who really understood the need I had? Someone who wasn't going to judge me for it? I was sure that people in the hallway noticed that there was a bit of a hop in my step as I returned to my locker. There was so much for my brain to process that night but I knew I felt grounded. For the first time in my whole life, I felt grounded and whole. Looking back on it now my first spanking was really everything I hoped for. 

Happy Birthday To Me

How in the hell am I entering into a new decade! This is just insane to me. Will my brain ever catch up to my body's age? I have to wonder. 

As I get the privilege to enter my 40th year let's also cheer to 2 years of sobriety. Let's take a few minutes to remember my friends and classmates who didn't have the privilege of making it to 40. I hope each one of you is resting in peace and power. 

Happy 40th Birthday to me. Life is wild!

Now bring on the birthday spankings!!!

The Piano Teacher

When I was six, I started taking piano lessons. My teacher was a nice lady in her 50s, I would guess, she never married. I spent the following thirteen years learning my piano lessons out of Doreen's piano studio. Generally speaking, I really enjoyed playing the piano and really never had a big issue with it. Well, that was until I entered high school. I decided that drugs and partying were more important than practicing. Well, you can all see where this could become a problem. Two months into high school and into grade six piano Doreen had tried everything to get me to do what I needed to. And every week it was the same; I didn't have my books, I didn't have the time, I just didn't care. The more and more I ignored my studies the more and more Doreen got annoyed. She wasn't accustomed to students wasting her time. Things were going to come to a head very soon.

There we sat again, me horribly fumbling some piece written by Chopin that I should have known backward and frontward by now; Doreen standing behind me annoyed and at the end of her rope. Today was going to be the day, enough was enough!


"Stop, Sunshine"

I stopped and turned waiting to hear yet another lecture on the importance of practicing and working to my full potential. I was soon to be shocked at the outcome of this lesson.

"Do you think it's funny to waste my time?"

"Well, I'm paying you!"

"No, your mother is paying me. And you are wasting her money and my time."

"That's your opinion."

"That's my opinion? Have you touched a piano since last week's lesson?"

"Well, I put my books on it. That counts."

"You know Sunshine, this wouldn't bother me so much if you were being forced to be here. But your mother has always given you a choice."

"So!?"

"Did you lose your brain when you entered Grade nine?"

"No, I found my brain."

"Okay, that's it. I'm done talking."

"What do you mean you're done talking?"

"Stand up!"

"Why?"

"I've had it with the disrespect, refusing to practice, and the wasting of your talent."

"So why do I have to stand up for that?" I spat.

"Because I am going to spank you like I did when you were eight and not listening."

"But I'm fourteen!"

"I don't care if you're twenty you're acting like a child. Now get up."

Shocked, nervous, and a little excited I stood. By this point in my life, I had been thinking of nothing but spanking. It was my deep dark secret that I had been hiding for years; secretly longing for someone to put me over their knee for correction. If I only knew then that I would soon meet my first disciplinarian that would correct me for the next four and a half years.

I watched Doreen positioning herself on the piano bench my mind running wild. Yes, it is true that I had been spanked by Doreen a few times before now. And yes, it is true that I was spanked occasionally growing up. So, it's not like it was a new idea to me. However, I was fourteen. I hadn't been spanked since I was about nine or ten. For some unknown reason, I had decided in all my fantasies that a spanking at fourteen or seventeen or twenty was going to feel completely different than it had at eight. But as I sit here and recall this lifestyle turning spanking, I am forced to conclude that it wasn't really any different. True I was longer than I was at eight so I felt a little silly at first lowering myself over Doreen’s knee. That silliness was soon to be replaced by a continued sting that was radiating across my bottom.


"Over my knee!"


"This is stupid."


"You can think it's stupid all you want. It's still going to happen!"


Reaching up Doreen pulled me over her knee in one strong pull. There was no getting out of this. Her firm hand began landing briskly across my soon-to-be tender bottom. She didn't waste any time teaching me her lesson of respect. I had to wonder how many other students she had spanked over the years. For not having any children of her own she was sure good at this. I was soon trying everything possible to dodge the spanks I was receiving. But it seemed the more I fought the harder she spanked me. Then out of nowhere, Doreen stopped the spanking. I was relieved I thought I had survived but I was soon to be mistaken.


"Stand up, Sunshine."


"Are we done?"

"No, we aren't done. Now you are going to take your jeans down."


"I am not."

"You are! Or don't bother coming back into this studio."

"Fine."

Lowering my jeans I again felt a little silly. How did I get my fourteen-year-old self into this?

"Over!"

"You're not serious?"

"Oh yes, I am."

"Fine! But you're wasting your own time."

I don't know what made me decide at that moment just to do as she said but I did. I lowered myself back over for the rest of my spanking with nothing more than my panties on. It couldn't hurt that much more. Or so I thought. Doreen continued her lesson in respect, painting my bottom a deeper red. I was starting to think my bottom was going to swell. Can your bottom swell? I was soon never going to disrespect or waste her time again. But I wasn't going to give her the satisfaction of crying like a little girl while I was over her knee. But the longer the spanking continued the harder it was to hide my wet eyes.

"This is the last time I want to have to discuss this with you. Do you understand?"

"Yes, Miss."

"What are you going to do this week?"

"Practice!"

SPANK! SMACK!

"A lot! You need to have at least the first page perfect"

"Okay, Doreen."

SPANK!

"Pardon? Was that disrespect I heard in your voice?"

"No Ma'am. There was no disrespect."

"I hope not!"

SWAT! SMACK!

"I'll practice, I promise!"

"I suggest that you do. Now stand up."

I carefully climbed off of Doreen’s lap trying desperately not to move in any way that might cause my bottom to hurt any more than it already did. There was really no point in trying after all I had to somehow pull my jeans back over my tender bottom. Doreen looked on with a certain amount of satisfaction that she had made me pay for all the time I had wasted throughout the last two months.

"I am warning you now, Sunshine. The next time you come unprepared you will be spanked. This is your one and only second chance."


"Yes, Ma'am."

"We are done for the day."

I quickly collected my books and exited the studio. My bottom stung for the majority of the evening. I can't say I stopped fooling around with the drugs and drinking from that day on but I did make sure that I was always properly prepared for my lessons. Shockingly enough I only made a trip over Doreen's knee one more time after that day. For something that was less major than the first. I learned very quickly that day that I never wanted to put myself in that situation again.

Expectations

It's been a really long time since I've had someone close to home watching out for me. I'm not really sure as of this date how to classify the relationship or if I should try to classify it. I just know however that there is something there. This something includes expectations; things we have discussed and agreed upon. Things we both know I crave or need to help improve my well-being. Even though our relationship is young there is still a line that I shouldn't want to cross. Or a certain person would think I shouldn't want to cross it. Of course, me being me I just had to.

I started back to school a week or so ago. I know why I returned to school, I know where I want to end up, and I know what I have to do to get there. Daddy and I talked about my need to be in every class many times leading up to school starting. Daddy also knew the severe social anxiety I always struggled with but he also knew I could do it. The first day was always the worst but after that stressful day, it was smooth sailing. Daddy also knew I would never regret anything more than allowing my anxiety disorder to win.

Daddy expected me to be in every class. I expected myself to be in every class. It was expensive and would be a complete waste if I threw it away. School was one of those expectations that we had discussed and agreed on.......

One Sunday after a long, busy, and tiring weekend I texted Daddy.


"I'm exhausted. What a long weekend. Don't know yet if I'm going to go to class tomorrow."

Daddy must have been busy or didn't have his phone on because it wasn't until Monday morning that I received this text back.

"You made a commitment. You will go to class or there will be consequences. So, buck up and go to class. You can go to bed early after class."


I responded immediately telling him that his text was making me nervous. I received this response.


"You better go to class and then there are no consequences to be nervous about."

I honestly think I was testing my boundaries for some reason. I think I wanted to be good and not a disappointment but something I can't explain took over. The need to feel the consequences not just hear that there would be consequences. I went to Monday's class but I skipped both Wednesday and Thursday's classes. I knew Daddy was out of town from Wednesday on. He would have the drive home on Sunday to collect his thoughts and calm down with me. There was just one issue in my thinking. Daddy was so busy while away that he never texted me about class.

Wanting my goodnight hug the following Monday I nervously drove home from class. Silently hoping Daddy wouldn't ask me about Wednesday and Thursday's classes. I think I knew that he would. He's very good like that. Parking in from of his house I took a deep breath and texted.


"I'm here."


I quickly climbed out of the car not wanting to alert him that something was wrong. Daddy was soon at my car cuddling me in his big warm hug.

"How was class, tonight?"

"Good. It didn't hurt the over-thinker."

"Well, that's always a good thing."

"She wasn't there so it wasn't too hard."

 

"I see. And how was class Wednesday and Thursday?"

My heart jumped.

"I don't know."

"What do you mean you don't know?"

"I missed those days."


His embrace dropped. He wasn't happy with me.

"Why?"

"Cause I didn't feel like going."


"Didn't we talk about this?"

"Yes, Daddy."


"What did I tell you last Monday about missing classes?"


"That there would be consequences."

"I think you should come in the house, don't you?"

"Do I have to?"

"Yes, you do."


Too nervous to debate I headed towards the door with Daddy on my tail. I was in trouble but I didn't yet know what that meant. Our relationship was very young. Entering the living room, I turned looking for direction.


"Did we not talk about how important school is?"

"Yes, Sir."


"Did you think I wouldn't follow through? I said there would be consequences!"

"I don't know?"

"Let me assure you that I meant it."

All I knew what to do was to be silent and wait for some kind of direction. But this seemed to be going in a direction I wasn't used to.

"Go sit. We're going to talk for a minute first."

Nervousness turned to confusion but I obeyed.

"I think an appropriate punishment is 20 licks for each class missed."

"Okay."

"If it happens again the number will increase, agreed?"

"I agree."

"Well let's get it over with. I want you to get me the brush"

Meekly I rose and brought Daddy the hairbrush. If only people knew it played double duty.

"Bare?"

"Always."


The first time is always the worst. My nervous fingers fumbled through unbuckling my belt, unbuttoning my button, unzipping my zipper, and finally lowering my jeans and panties. Submissively but anxious I found my place over my Daddy's knee. I counted as every one of those 40 licks landed on my deserving bottom. It wasn't by far anything I was used to but it got the point across. Driving home after my forgiving cuddle I couldn't help but realize that this is going to be alright. Different yes but a good different. I guess it's true people are always evolving. Here's to my evolution.